Why Tsunade Drinks
by Black-Dranzer-1119
Summary: Title is pretty much self explanatory. Warning this story conatains the following: alcohol abuse, mentions of slash/yaoi/boyxboy pairings and spoilers of chapters 383 and above. Thankyou


**Stra****ngely enough the idea for this came to me while I was cleaning my room. Oh well any who I first have some things to say before you read my hopefully funny fic.**

**This contains mentions of slash/ yaoi/ boyxboy pairings so if you don't like don't read because I don't want to read flames because people didn't read the warning**

**This story contains spoilers for chapter 383 and above**

**I would like you all to go and vote on your favourite slash pairing if you have one on my profile**

Shizune's writing

_Tsunade's writing_

**Tsunade Thoughts**

Tsunade,

It has recently come to my attention that the amount of sake you have been drinking has increased.**'Yeah, well it was bound to happen eventually'**

Added to your current losing streak in gambling, we really can't afford to buy so much sake. **'I'm the Hokage for Christ sake I shouldn't have to pay for it. The villagers should be giving it to me for even listening to their whining.'**

So I want you to write a list of all the recent occasions that you have decided to drink and maybe we might be able to find ways of reducing the amount of sake you drink. If this is too much of a hassle though there is a large pile of paperwork on my desk that you need to read over and sign.

See you tomorrow,

Shizune

Tsunade stood and walked over to Shizune office and opened the door cautiously and looked in. And shut the door even faster. The desk was piled high with papers and scrolls and there was probably only a bare inch on the whole desk. **'Now let's go look at that list'.** Picking up the piece of paper lying innocently below the letter Tsunade noticed it was completely bare apart from two words '_Drinking' _and _'Sober'._** 'I'm going to need a drink after I finish this' **realizing what she was thinking Tsunade let out a huff **'great that's what got me into this in the first place. Well if I'm going to do this I better get started.'**

Drinking

'…

…

…

**Ok I can do this. After all Shizune won't notice if I lie a little would she?**

…

**Ok she would… so straight out truth. I am really going to need that drink.'**

Drinking

_-__ After a meeting with the council _**'those stuffy idiots need to get a better hobby than picking over every little decision I make. I was picked as Hokage for a reason. I'm not stupid.'**

_- After losing money gambling _**'So I'm not the best gambler, I'm not perfect'**

_- After finding the brat making out with the Uchiha _**'Though it was funny to see Sakura faint like that'**

_- After having to explain to the council why their precious Uchiha won't be producing an heir _**'damn are they deaf or just thick. It shouldn't that THREE HOURS to explain that someone is GAY.'**

_- After finding out that I am the last Sanin and I once __again failed to save someone I loved _**'Yeah I love you, you old stupid pervert'**

_- After Gai and Lee came up with a plan to celebrate a 'day of youth' _**'I don't think I have seen so much green in my entire life'**

_- After being forced to send the brat with a bunch of genin and only one newly appointed Chuunin to go after the Uchiha_** 'damn that brought up bad memories. Stupid snake'**

_- After realizing that even though I am the Hokage I simply don't have the resources needed to protect my people_

_- After Being forced to explain for the millionth time that the Kyuubi is not getting out of control and Naruto getting stronger does not mean he is planning on destroying the village _**'only idiots would even think that Naruto would be able to do something like that'**

_- After once again being forced to explain why the Uchiha was being punished _**'it's not like he's a traitor or anything. Damn they're a bunch of blind groveling morons'**

_- After someone dies during a operation I perform_

_- After having to sit through yet another village meeting _**'and listen as the villagers who sit on their arse all day and do nothing complain about how scared they are'**

_- After finding out that Iruka Umino was being forced out of teaching classes because Kakashi learnt a new 'move' _**'damn that pervert. If Kakashi does that one more time I'll let the students those stupid pervert books for kunai target practice'**

Sober

_- During battle _**'well it's hard to focus on a battle and perform jutsu's when you're holding a bottle of sake'**

_- Before and during surgery _**'It's dangerous enough to do without being drunk'**

_Face it Shizune I've got a good system working already._

_I have a problem_

_I have a solution_

_I drink_

_No problem_

"Now where's my sake?"

**This is the first time I have written a non romance ****fic and I want to know if it was any good and if you thought that it was somewhat even remotely humorous. So could you please review tell me what you think. I won't force you or bribe you but I would like you to review out of the goodness or evilness in your hearts. Lol.**


End file.
